Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
