if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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