i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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