I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
