Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You work out of a Hotel?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
im six kinds of drunk right now
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
