3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
