...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
