im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize