Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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