let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
