My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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