Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
