its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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