it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
