hell yes lets make some ravioli
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
