If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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