i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
