She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
