I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
