Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
