I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
