I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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