Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
