omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize