i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
