Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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