Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
