You're a womanizer and a bitch.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize