I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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