So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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