at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
