i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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