I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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