I'm lost and stupid without you.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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