Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
