brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
