Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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