Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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