he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
