So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
