ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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