Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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