Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Me too!
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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