Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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