conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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