If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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