Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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