Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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