and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
