God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
it glows. i had to have it.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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