Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
