I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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