so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
