I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
