I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
