Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
