Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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