It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
