is your mom at the bar?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
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