All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
