loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
