ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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