I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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