shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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