I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
