I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
birth control should be required to get into college
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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