I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
