No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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