he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
