I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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