And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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