..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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