he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
